9 months ago, I thought this day would have played out much different.... but things don't always happen how you think they should. ..... We woke up, (by that I mean I wake Z up) ate, hoped in the van, and off to the gym. I worked out w/ my trainer, who I have missed!! then did soem shopping. We got home after a long day of shopping, put the food away, and snuggled. Then Z fell asleep in my lap, so I took him upstairs. Then I wrote a letter. A letter to a baby I never was able to meet. Through tears, (less than I imagined) I ended it with this "today, we should be holding you, but instead I hold this balloon."
So I went outside alone and let go of the balloon. My heart heavy, but also feeling lighter.
I thought I would be introducing Z to his new sibling, making a new breastfeeding relationship, changing diapers, prepping for lots of sleepless nights and days. Learning how to be a mom of 2.... but things don't always happen how you think they should.
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| Hope. |
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