Smile!!

He loves his daddy!!

And his Chasey too!!  :)

Cold weather solution!! (Safe) Car seat cover!

This boy... he is my light!!  He fell asleep in the car 

Using his brand new carseat cover!!  (Want one yourself??  My amazingly talented friend makes them!!)  Click here  Amelia Bee is the name of the etsy site.. and as you can see.. they can transfer it in and stay warm!!  (I did have to take his arms out to take off the car seat straps that are not at all hindered by this cover!)  

For us cold weather mommas.. this is a must!!  B/c we all know you can't put your kid in the carseat with their coats.. so its run to the car with coats, take coats off.. put kid in carseat.. hope the car is warm enough so kid isn't cold...  Now I take him out either in this or his coat, put him in the car seat and put the blanket cover over him.  His hands are free (b/c of the sleeves) and its fleece, so its nice and warm..  Also when I went to take him out of the car (while he was sleeping)  I just had to take his arms out of the sleeve, promptly put the arms back in then did the other side.  I was able to carry him inside without waking him to put his coat back on and he stayed plenty warm b/c of the cover/blanket!  So smart!

Sometimes he just likes to cover up with it without his arms in it.. which is perfect too!  Anyway, I love this product!!  You can also check out her facebook page:

 amelia bumblebee 

and make sure you like her!! 

pictures recap

Things have been going pretty well.  I'm still dealing w/ the aftermath of crazy hormomes left over for the miscarriage, but we are so lucky that we have great people around us!  We had some peple bring us meals,

 And have just reallly been a great support of us!  I'm so thankful for that!  Z is doing great!  Here is a quick recap of our weekend! 

We went to a birthday party for sweet baby A!  Its kinda our Sunday afternoon/evening hang out.. so after most people left, Z and A played while we watch football and I was able to relax alittle with some reading!!

 We did some shopping!  Z liked mikey mouse.. thinking this might be a christmas gift idea for him!

 Here is one of my favorite things a very good friend of ours makes.. and she made us a whole pan!  She also had made us dinner which was also so yummy!  I was very touched that she made this for us and is a great support!  For real, I love this dessert!  (its a jello and cream cheese thing.. )

Essentials Oils is something I've just recently gotten into.  I'm loving them so far.. Onguard to keep us healthy, serenity keeps me calm, citris bliss helps pep my mood up. Not to mention things for headaches, coughs, cold,s.. the list goes on and on!!  I'm so loving the Doterra oils-if you would like to hear more about them.. let me know!! 

 

And Chase, always up for snuggles!!  Love that pup and he loves his Z!!

Snow

It snowed here the other day.. So we woke up and hurried outside before the sun melted it!

Zach liked it!!  He really had a good time!  and loved the hot milk we got after!!

As for me.. well I ended up running a fever on Tues.  so I had to go the to er :(  After lots of test and iv fluids with some meds, I had an infection.  So I got some medicine and working on getting better.. The Dr at the ER was awful.  insulted my dr told me that there was nothing they could do for me there and was so insensitive to the fact that I miscarried  (if you want read m/c story its in the post below this one).  Jerk.. for real.  I did file a complaint about him and praised my amazing nurse.  The meds seem to be working.. I feel much less weak.. so thats good...

looking good... right??

Anyway I'm ready to be back to normal... 

My sad story (Might be a little graphic TMI)

This has taken me a few tries/days to write.. I keep starting it and then deleting it.  But here goes.I want to get this down.. I want to not be in the dark...

Oct 14th, our 7 year anniversary I had a feeling that morning.. so I took a test.  It was positive.  I was pregnant!  After shock, I was excited.  We weren't trying,, but we were excited.  We were excited to have Z be a big brother... excited about the timing and June seemed like a perfect time.  We were kinda worried...  Not more than 4 months before we had another surprise.  But in that case we barely had time to even let the shock wear off before I lost the baby.  I hadn't been more than 4 weeks.  So we cautiously were we so excited.  We slowly started to tell people.  I went to the dr.  Everything looked great!  Alittle more time passed.  I felt good.  I never started getting sick... which was a big worry, but I was exhausted.. VERY exhausted and everything else was going on that should have.

Then it started.  First very slowly.  Spotting.  Such a terrifying word for moms to be...  and even scarier when its happening.  I rested and called my dr.  They seemed optimistic so I was too.  The best blessing I think was I had about 6 friends in town from all over.. One was with me at the time, she came with me, prayed with me at the dr office, then took Z for me.  My amazing momma met me there.. I didn't have T there b/c it was just a quick check to make sure everything was fine...   ....

They got in me so quickly.. I had to empty my bladder.. so I did.. at which moment things got worse.. and I think a big part of me finally knew.  But I still had hope..

I got on the table and they started looking.  Then words you never want to hear "Are you sure about your dates?  Oh yea, I see you were in already.. hmmm..."  "  Do you have pain in either side of your belly?"

The tech was having a hard time finding the baby.  My heart was sinking.. My hand squeezing my moms so tight and tears were unstoppable.

 I saw it moving.  But when she switched it to the colors.. red and blue, there wasn't any colors in the "sac"... I didn't know what that meant, but I knew it wasn't good...

She found the baby (sac).  I didn't see a heartbeat...  (there was a big TV showing what they were seeing right in front of me..) So I finally found the courage to ask "Can you see the heartbeat??"

She said, not yet, but she found something questionable...  took a few pictures and said she needed to talk to the doctor.. I couldn't help but ask what questionable mean...  She put her arm on my leg and told me the thing I didn't want to hear, but at this point knew.."The sac is very low in my uterus and looks small," and that she was so sorry, she hated being the one to tell, but didn't want to leave me in the dark... She also told me to go ahead and get dressed and one of my midwifes (doctors) would be in soon.

I got dressed.. noticed how much blood was on the floor from me, if my heart could sink any lower it would have.... and I cried.  A few moments later, my midwife came in.  I really don't know what all she said.. I know she said it was so low b/c it was making its way out of me.. and I needed to come back in next week to check my levels and talk about when to try again.. My brain hadn't really wrapped around everything yet... I know I asked her "so I am having another miscarriage??"  I think I just needed to hear her say it.  She said.. " I am so sorry sweetie.. Yes you are...  Take your time, etc.."  

So, there it is...  Miscarriage happens..  About 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, and more than 80 percent of these losses happen before 12 weeks.  It wasn't anything we did.. There is nothing wrong with me.. Gosh I wish people would stop asking that.. "are they going to do testing on you to see what happened??"  let me just say that is not something you should say when someone tells you about the m/c.

"Since most healthcare practitioners won't do a full-scale workup of a healthy woman after a single miscarriage, it's usually impossible to tell why the pregnancy was lost. And even when a detailed evaluation is performed – after you've had two or three consecutive miscarriages, for instance – the cause still remains unknown half the time." According to webmd

Anyway, my baby is gone.. I'm in pain physically and emotionally.  Postpartum is hard even harder when there is no baby and you are dealing with the pain of it physically coming out of you. But we are ok..  I have amazing support from my family and such great friends..

Please forgive if this post is all over the place.. my mind is all over and so


 

Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWww880E9wU

Hello strangers!!

I am happy to report Z has been healthy for quite some time now!!  We have made some changes in our lives and started using essential oils and taking probotics again.  A few weeks ago we did have to go to the ER for a concussion scare, but Z was perfectly fine after a few days!  We have been staying pretty busy.. chasing a toddler around is pretty exhausting!  Potty training is going decently.. still working on night training but we are getting there. 

Sinus infection... letter of the week!

Last Tues after a very restless "night"  at 4am I woke up uncontrollably shivering.  I was covered up in our blankets and shouldn't have been cold, but I couldn't stop.  T got me another blanket and some water and the checked my temp.  102.6.  The day pretty much followed suit.  Long story short after some super wonderful neighbors who stopped by to borrow something around 1 pm saw how horrible I looked (pretty sure I looked like death.... around that time my temp was about 103... took Z and spent the rest of the day with him while I slept off and on.  I finally felt like I could make it to the dr.. so I went in.  I had a sinus infection (a pretty bad one)  So last week was pretty much all about me getting better. 

But we are both healthy this week!!  I think a break from germy kids had lot to do with it..  So this week on to top our school, we are doing "letter of the week" with a group of friends of mine.  We share ideas and activies that we are doing.  So today we started with the letter A!

We are going to the library later today to get some more "A" books!  I'm excited and Z seemed to enjoy it too!! :)

Sick... AGAIN

Yep.. I'm so getting tired of writing that.  So for the last 2 days its been a fevers, sometimes high fevers.  Like get into the tub (with mommy.. b/c we don't want out of her arms)  To get the fever down.  We went to the dr today.. Something viral..  Ugh, I hate Viral!  I hate fevers.. for the last 3 weeks we've had fevers every Mon-Weds...  The dr says its coming from nursery.  So looks like we are restarting operation bubble boy.  I asked her about why he keeps getting everything and shouldn't his immune system be able to fight some of it off.  She said no, its normal for them to get it since he is still building it and its still low from the awful winter we had.  So today was alot of snuggles and night nights.  At one point his fever got to 103.4.. Fevers scare me.  the dr says we don't need to worry until 105.. I can't even imagine 105!  So thats where we are.. hope we can get better fast..  This high fever and no other real symptoms kinda makes me worry. 

PJ problem..

I'm going to share a secret with you.  Its hard to get Z out of his pj's.  He likes to stay in them.  Or at least the shirt.  There were days where it just wasn't worth the fight.  Maybe it makes me a bad mom that he would stay in his pjs until bath time and then put new pj's on.  I'm not sure.  If we went out, he normally got new clothes on, but not always.  I mean they weren't "dirty" just slept in.  But for the last 2 weeks we have set up a new routine.  Wake up, breakfast, change into the day clothes then "school"  It might be sad that I'm so happy that I have gotten him out of his pj's every day (even the sick day.. we still did school and got into real clothes!!)  But it makes me happy!  He even takes his pjs and puts them into the dirty laundry... Now if I can teach him out to run the washer and dryer ;) 

But thats my little win for this week!! 

So behind!!

Z & I both were not feeling well..  Fevers and super exhausted were really the only symptoms. Still it got us down!!

 But after alot of rest and some extra snuggle and way too much screen time.. Today we are much better!!

CHHHEEESSSSSSEEEE

 

Glad he is feeling better!! But a day of doing nothing but snuggles on the couch and bed has left my house quite a mess!  So today I've been cleaning and folding the left over laundry while Z has been playing.. Not with his toys.. no, b/c that would make too much sense..  The kid has so many toys its almost sickening!  This is what he wants to play with today:

Yea, thats the dog food.. on the upside he isn't eatting it.. so at least that is something right??  Silly Silly boy!!  well I need to go switch out the laundry!!

An amazing day..

For starters at this very moment I'm enjoying some black berries, drinking a glass of wine and watching "Now & Then"  Because its such an amazing movie!  But today really has been wonderful! 

It started with sleeping in- like really sleeping in.  T & I went out on a date night last night to the state fair concert.  It was a great time!  I really love the fair.  I love walking through and seeing all the different things.  I love talking to all the people there and seeing all the sights!  But this fair had a wine tent.  With all wines from our state!  We stopped in there and I got to taste them and meet all the vineyard people in our state.  So we will be planning a trip around them soon!  Then we went to the concert.  It was fun and a good one.

So after we slept in we got up and Z got home.  We went out to a nice family dinner date then we went to the park and took some fun family pictures!  It was fun!  When we got home, we just played in the dirt.. and then bath and bed!  It was so very nice to have some quality family time! 

:)  Love them so much!!

Zoo Day!!

We were up and going early this morning and our good friend Aunt R and A picked us up for a trip to the zoo!!  Z was so excited! 

Driving a boat!!

Whoa!! 

It was a good time!  Then we helped can some relish!  Over all it was great day!  :)

I'd like you to "meet" ROAR

Maybe he looks like this... 

We were on our way back from the air port, we stopped at a fast food place to grab some food.  There was this spot in the place where I am guessing a plant used to be.  It was full of rocks.  Z started playing with them talking about an alligator.  We soon learned its name was Roar- and he lives in the trees and eats rocks.  He was with us on the way home under Z's feet.  Roar is still around.  When we walk by rocks (especially at the gym) Z says "watch out for Roar! Hide!!"  Also we have learned he is small and red.  :)  Sometimes he eat rocks, but today he was getting cars...  lol  He makes me laugh so much!! 

Grateful

First I want to say sorry for the down post yesterday.  Where its true things have been trying... There really is so much I am grateful for!  To start with him:

This is us playing in dirt... you know like all kids should!!  But for real.. He brings so much joy to not only my life but everyone around us!!  Which brings me to his daddy!  My husband has his flaws (hard to believe ;) ) but he is there for us.  He works SOO hard to help keep me at home able to raise and teach our son!  He is a great dad and a great husband.  We love when daddy gets home (cue Z jumping up and down screaming "daddy home, daddy home while clapping... :) )

Then there is my mom.  She is my super hero for real.  This summer, which was supposed to be her break (really means spending time w/ Z...) was spent taking care of her mother.  Which has not been easy for her.  Alzheimers is so very awful.  It takes so much more than memories.  My mom has done such a great job being strong for everyone, my grandma, my dad, my uncles and especially my grandma.   I try hard to help her out, but it is hard for us to even have grandma one night.. She has her every night of the week, plus during the day.  And rarely complains.  She is a rock.  Z is soo very lucky to have such a strong nana on his side!! 

I am so blessed to have great friends, near and far.  I was lucky enough to go on a trip to see some friends of mine a few weeks ago.  It was my first "nonwork/homeschool/marykay" trip without Z or T!  It was so nice to have my far away friends right there!  It was a weekend fulled with laughter, love, great food, relaxation, and wine!  It came at a perfect time.  :)  Anyway, I am lucky.. Even through the hard time I am grateful for my amazing life! 

Things have been... crazy

I havn't posted in a long time.  Life has been crazy and difficult.  Everyone knows the winter we had, when I say winter, I mean spring too.  Z was pretty much sick from dec till apirl.  That sucked.  Then other things happened.  Car accident (everyone was fine, but we were without our car for about 3 weeks : / Then my phone got broken, which was an easy fix, just kinda a pain... Then that one got broken.. finally got that worked out and my debit card info got stolen... after trying to get a new card set up... about 2 months.. I finally got it all fixed.  Then there was alot of drama with my grandma... it all started with her drinking pinesol by mistake (she has Alzheimer)  and since then she can't be alone.  we are working on solutions, but it all takes time and soo very much energy.  On top of all that, we are chugging along.  We have some exciting news... Z is potty trained (most part)  He is in his big boy bed also!!  Where did my baby go??  He has gotten so grown up!  We started "school" which is really playing and reading stories-but still fun.  Other than like life is just going. 

I'm ready for things to get to a new normal... One where things are not always going wrong... So here is hoping the end of summer and start of fall will be better!

4th of july!!

We had so much fun this past weekend!  We went camping out on our friends land, and it was pure bliss!  After a few rough weeks, it was nice just relaxing and not having major plans.  We canoed, swam, ran bank lines, sat by the fire, and just relaxed!  Z went with us to check the bank lines once, going on his first canoe trip!  He did great and he loved it!  I think he might be ready for a little longer trip!  I'll post pictures once I get everythign unpacked and cleaned up.. ;)  Z is doing great!  getting so big, and very fun!  We are enjoying the summer so much.  Being outside all the time!  One of our favorite places is hanging out on our deck.  But I need to go unpack the car.. just wanted to write a quick update!

Should be cleaning...

We have had a fun weekend! To start it off my friend and I went on a trip for a homeschool convention!  First it was lovely to be on a trip without kids!  A whole bed to myself.. no sharing food, etc!  But it was so great to learn so much!  

Then we got back Friday, and after that we went to a super fun birthday party on Sat!  Z had tons of fun!  

Anyway, here are some great pictures from the party!!  

He spent alot of time here at the fishing pond!  (or "per" as he calls fish...)

We were even lucky enough to have nana come!

:)

I am so loved!! (deck garden finished!!)

This came from our neighbor!!

My outside garden is pretty much done!!  I mean I'm sure I can always add more to it and be happy, but I have used all the pots I was giving (thanks to my FIL grandpa G) got them painted (mostly..)  and got everything in there.  But what I'm most happy about are the flowers and things I got as gifts..  I'll start by showing you the finished product!

So thats it!!  Its where Z plays the most and where I drink my tea in the mornings and evening.. And read or just watch birds!  In fact today we saw a red humming bird!!  So that was exciting!  So now I want to show you how loved I am!!  Here are all the things in my garden that were given to me!! 
First all the pots were given to me!!  Most from my FIL and some from my mom!

The wind chime was from my husband as my mothers day gift.. its perfect!!

My mom gave me this!!  Its the perfect verse for me lately.. I love that she saw it and thought of me!!

My dear friend R gave me this from her garden!  It will have yellow flowers! 

This plant traveled all the way from KY!!  My incredible friend mailed this whole thing to me!!  In the pot and all!!!  I just love her and she has the same plant in her garden..  :)

Where these might not look like much now... One of my favorite and a lady I look up to so much mailed these to me all the way from MN!  Each one had the most powerful and loving words on it.  I am simply one of the luckiest girls in the whole world to have such great friends!  So these plants are a strawberry plant, raspberry plant and a tulip.  I can't wait for them to bloom!! 

Thank you to all of you who helped make my sanctuary special!!  I love you all!!