Finding my body

   So here I am.  6 weeks and some days pp.  I have already lost 37 of the 40 (at least I gain 40lbs a week before I delivered.  I'm not sure what I weight exactly the day I had him.. so its what we are going with) without working out.. so I think thats pretty good!  The last two days I've jogged!  Today I jogged with T and the neighbor.  Man, they made me feel like I was SO outta shape, but hey at least I'm out there!  I still have to walk quite a bit, but slowly I'll be jogging more than walking.  One rainy days I think I'll do the Wii Fit/biggest loser.  I also have some work out dvds.. so might do those.  But so far the best work out really has been nursing!  How many people can say they lost 40lbs in 6 weeks?  Granted some of that was from giving birth... but alot of it has been from breastfeeding.  I really think if more people knew you would lose more of the baby weight with BFing, more people would do it!
   Also jogging gives me a chance to get out without Zach.  I get fresh air and some alone time.  Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my son.. but its super nice getting away from him for a little bit!  It also feels great to be exercising again!  Before I got preg, (before we started moving)  we were working out really hard, I lost about 40lbs (that time it took me longer...  about 4 months) So I love that I'm starting to get back into it.  I plan on being able to re start doing the P90X that we were doing before, but that will take time. 
   I have started a chart there on the side of the blog with my progress.. Yes even my weight is on there... While it was hard for me to put that number out there, I feel like I need to and it will help motivate me to get to a good number.  So there it is for everyone to see!  My goal is to be back to 140's again.  That will take alot of time and alot of work.  But I was there not to long ago... so I know it is def something I can reach.  I've been released to work out for 3 days so far, and I have worked out every day...  Wish me luck that I keep it up!! :)

6 weeks postpartum
Down 37lbs

Wordless Wednesday

We like Freddie the Firefly!

Big boy!!

Blast from the past!  Hubby and me prebaby in Dublin

Again in Ireland Galway

Growing like a weed!

 

What a big boy!!

    6 weeks old today!  He is 11.8lbs and 22 7/8 in long!  I knew he was getting long, but didn't realize how long!  He is doing great!  My baby boy is growing sooo fast, its crazy!  He is holding his head up really well and following/tracking people (like me :) ) with his eyes.  He is also reaching for toys when they are held over his head.  I'm loving watching him get better at doing things!  

   As for me, I'm doing great!  I had my 6 week pp doctor apt today (busy day in b-town.. glad Grandma was with us to help out).  I lost 3 more lbs.. which means I have 3 more till I'm at my prepreg weight!  Also now I'm off restriction, so I can start working out ( I did alittle today on the Wii fit )  Hopefully, the weather is nice enough we can get out and go for a jog.  Also my bp is completely normal, so that is good!  Emotionally, I'm doing pretty good.  I was really worried about postpartum depression (since I have a history of depression), but so far so good.  Motherhood seems to fit me pretty well.  Life is starting to get back to normal.. or at least the new normal.  We are still getting adjusted to lack of sleep, now planning trips, and crying, but things are going well! After a long day, we are all pretty tired (Zach and daddy are sleeping as I type on the couch... )  So now, we are going to go to bed!  Good night everyone :-)

Shopping, falling, playing, and crying...

We have had a very eventful weekend!
   Friday we kinda just relaxed at home.  Saturday morning we got up and went into town with friends-we went to the library, where I put on the Moby (which has been a life saver this weekend-in more ways than one).  As we were walking to the door, I rolled my ankle.  Luckly I turned midfall and laided on my back instead of on my belly(where Zach was) and instintivly I put my hand behind his head so it didn't move around like crazy as I fell.  Also I landed on the grass.  Zach was scared, but overall we were both ok.  It was def a very scary moment for mommy too!  The rest of the day went well.  I even nursed in real public Sat.  We ate lunch at Noodles (Thanks B for lunch :) ) and Z needed to eat, so I put my cover on and did it in the booth!  I'm so proud of myself! 
    Later that day, my cousin came by to drop off some of her son's old clothes and she brought her 4 month old.  So they had their first playdate!  They didn't play much, but instead seem to eat at the same time.. lol.  A side note about my cousin, we have the same birthday just 5 years apart.  Her first kids (twins) have the same birthday as Z.. just 5 years apart..  How funny!
    Sunday we slept in (after waking up quite a few times in the morning)  We got to bed pretty late the Sat night waiting for daddy to get home, so we were all tired.  But after we woke up, Z was very grumpy!  I had noticed he had eaten alot Sat evening, but today he was SO fussy!  He has been eating every 2 hours or so, but he eats much longer than normal!  From about 15 mins to about 30-45 and has been eating on both sides!  He doesn't want to be put down and wants to be moving and its really been like this all day.  Again thanks to the Moby.  I'm able to even nurse hands free with this magical baby item.. plus it has been the only place he'd nap today.  Hopefully he will want to sleep tonight, but I think daddy will be sleeping in the other room tonight! 
   Also between the fussiness, Z's grandpas (2 of his 3) came by tonight!  T's dad and stepdad came by for a visit.  Its so nice to see them loving on him!  I love how Z really makes them (including my parents) just light up.  You can just see the love they have for our son coming out of them!  It really melts my heart!
Photo time! :)

First play date! :)

My two mommy boys

Grandpa G and Chase



The lovely moby wrap.. and can you tell my house has been taken over by baby stuff?

  

Friday

Fridays are no longer as exciting now that I'm a stay at home mom.  Normally they do mean Tim will  be home, but he is working this Sat.. so he won't be here.  Which does make me sad.  But we have a lot less going on this weekend than we did last weekend.. so that is nice! 
Tonight, I have been really tired and sore.  I'm really just not feeling that well physical or mentality..  so I've been watching funny you tube videos while nursing, b/c at night we tend to nurse from about 7-10 pretty non stop (or every hour)  So its either surf the internet or watch a movie.  Tim is working out so he is using the TV, so that leaves the internet.  I've already read all my mommy blog, been on the bump, and facebook.. so that leaves youtube.  And I have to say, it isn't helping me being tired or sore, but it is helping with my mood.  So that is good.
Update on Zach: He is really starting to gain control of his head.  He is getting so strong!  Sleeping pretty well- goes to sleep around 10:30 or 11 and stays that way until 3.. so 4 hours!!  then wakes again around 5:30 or 6 and about every 2-3 hours. 
Well thats all  have for now...  Have a good weekend

A nice week!

     This week has been my mom's spring break.. so where would she want to spend it, you ask?  Florida, Hawaii, or Cali.. Nope!  My house.  And who could blame her.  There aren't any beaches or warm weather. but there is a cute little boy!!
    Its been nice having her here, and I know its been nice for her.  It gave me time to clean and sleep a little bit!  Plus is been nice having her here to talk to and share time with Z.  This week has been so great, trips to the store have been much MUCH easier.  Plus great grandma came with her on Weds!  We had 3 generations here!  Sadly tomorrow is the last day of her break!  I wish the weather would have stayed warm, so we could go on another walk, but it got cold again.. ugh!
    Update on Zach, Monday we went to get his liver checked (since I wasn't going to stop BFing to check his liver we had to get a test)  turns out that the doc didn't fax the correct lab work sheet.. so as the lab techs were taking his blood I asked about it.  They told me that it was just a bili test.. So I questioned it more and the more we talked, the wonderful techs realized I was not getting the test that I needed.  They called my pedis office to try to see where the correct lab work papers were.  So the doc office told them they faxed it but they didn't know where they sent it to.. really??  So the lab techs (who I love) kept the asked the lab to wait on testing the blood until they knew which was the right test to do!  But anyway the test came back and his liver if fine!  And the test included a bili and his bili was down to 6!  So that is wonderful!  The doc said I could keep BFing (thanks for the permission doc!)  So now we don't have to worry about that anymore!
    Also I nursed in public!  It was a mom's group, but still.. it was in public!!  Plus this week I've had to do it in the car a lot! 
   Well thats all I have for now!!

Sleeping in his rock n play!  Best thing we've bought!!

No more paparazzi mom!!

Great Grandma came by and got to hold and love on Zach

Weekend update..

Yesterday I was super busy.. so this is kinda a day late, but oh well! 
This weekend we stayed super busy!  Friday, we went to a friends and watched a movie.  Its funny that staying up past 11:30pm is super late for us know.. but it is.  Zach is getting into a routine and seems to know day from nights.. which is LOVELY!!  We normally eat around 8 and he falls asleep (after bath time and lotion) then sleeps until 11 and eats again, then story time and maybe a song (this is when Tim and I also go to bed).  Then he doesn't wake up until 3am.. and eats again.  Then right back to sleep and doesn't wake up again until 5-6.  Its great!  For a while he won't sleep very well if we went out during the evening.. but now he does fine!  Sat was a really nice day.  We all slept in, had a nice breakfast and lounged around the house.  Then we went to another friends house with the neighbor kids for a game night.  We had dinner over there and Zach was passed around and got to meet a few other friends of ours.  Sunday we had a church potluck and then that afternoon went out to a nice dinner w/ some friends for 3 birthdays! (one of them was mine :) ) Then home to relax afte such an eventful weekend!
Z did really well with all the excitment this weekend!  It didn't mess with his sleeping at all!  :)  Thought I'd share! 

I will stand up for what I believe is best for my child..

Back story, Zach started life alittle jaundice.  He never got above 18 (hit that at 2 weeks)  with alot of nursing we were able to get the levels down to 16 2 dys later.  At his one month apt, doc noticed he was still tiny bit yellow, so we had his levels rechecked.  They were an 8... The doc told me to stop bfing for 3 days and check if the levels go down and if they do, we know it is just breastmilk jaundice and nothing to be worried about.  He wanted to check to make sure his liver is ok.  I tried telling him I didn't want to stop BFing, but his nurse wasn't really listening.  After doing a lot of research, talking to my home nurse, and talking to a doula and lactation consultant, we all decided it was not only not necessary to stop BFing, but a bad idea.  There are a few reasons for breastmilk jaundice and one of them is the baby not getting enough food the first few days of life.. (maybe like being stuck on fluids only for the first 2 days.. like Zach was)  So I called the doc and left a message saying I was NOT stopping and if they had any other options to call me.  That was at 10 in the morning... Finally at 5 the actually Dr. called me back.  He told me that I could avoid other things by just stopping BFing and do formula for 3 days.  Again I told him I wasn't going to stop.. He then told me we can have his liver enzymes checked by doing a lab blood work .. That easy.. ugh.  I said wonderful.   He again told me that we could avoid this test by just stopping and I should be worried about  my supply or the relationship we have (Zach is a great nurser and I don't want to risk that)  I AGAIN told him, I don't care, I am not going to stop.  He didn't seem thrilled by said he would go ahead and order the lab work ordered. 
I don't understand why doing the best thing for my son is such a hard thing for him to understand.  And to risk all that just to rule out other problems.  Also either way Zach is going to need more lab work (either the liver test or another bili level checked.. so its not like I'm saving him from getting blood drawn).  UGH.. But we are getting the liver test done on Monday, so keep that in your T&P

Tummy Time!! 

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Zach getting some sun..  Chase watching over him

One month dr. apt... :(

To start with, Z is doing great!  He weighs 10lb 15 oz and prolly would have been over that.. but he pooped 4 times before getting to the scale.. lol  He grew 3/4 of an in making him 21 3/4!  That puts him in the 75%.  Everything else is looking great!  He has a bit of an eye thing going on, but we just have some meds we have to put in there.  The doc noticed that he does still look alittle yellow-so off to get his bili levels checked again.  We got the results, his level was 8.8(for the record is mild jaundice > 12 is moderate)... so my doc told me to stop breast feeding for 3 days and get him rechecked.  Appearly his jaundice is from my milk, from what I'm reading it is pretty common with newborns that are breast feed.  Even my doctor said it doesn't hurt the baby...  Also from what I've been reading..  You never need to stop breastfeeding...  So I'm going to be calling the doctor tomorrow and let them know that I will NOT be stopping.. and he is fine (with this type of jaundice, it goes away around  2-3 months.. on its own.)  I've also called my LC to confirm with her.  When I questioned the doctor about why I'd need to stop giving my son the best thing I could, he said it was to make sure the jaundice wasn't coming from a different problem.  (scare tactics...)  I'm kinda upset and have lost some faith in my doctor... 

Here is something I found very interesting from one of the sites: (http://pediatrics.about.com/library/breastfeeding/blbreastfeedingh.htm)
"If the baby is truly doing well on breast only, there is no reason, none, to stop breastfeeding or supplement with a lactation aid, for that matter. The notion that there is something wrong with the baby being jaundiced comes from the assumption that the formula feeding baby is the standard by which we should determine how the breastfed baby should be. This manner of thinking, almost universal amongst health professionals, truly turns logic upside down. Thus, the formula feeding baby is rarely jaundiced after the first week of life, and when he is, there is usually something wrong. Therefore, the baby with breastmilk jaundice is a concern and "something must be done". However, in our experience, most exclusively breastfed babies who are perfectly healthy and gaining weight well are still jaundiced at 5-6 weeks of life and even later. The question, in fact, should be whether it is normal not to be jaundiced and is this absence of jaundice something we should worry about? Do not stop breastfeeding for “breastmilk” jaundice."

Here are other websites I found:
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/973629-overview
http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/disease/jaundice.htm
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000995.htm

One month ago...

We met the love of our lives!  All 10 lbs 11oz of him! It has been a month of first, learning, and lots of love (and some tears..)  I've never loved any thing the way I love Zach.  I've never given anyone as much as I have given him either, my life, my body, my time, sleep, etc...  Its all part of love!  He is in the middle of a growth spurt right now, so he is eating not stop and quite fussy, but it just means he is growing.  Today I did a little "photo shoot", Our camera isn't very good, but here are the pix!  Enjoy. 

Things sure have changed!

As I'm trying clean the living room to get ready for Bible study tonight, I'm reminded how much things have changed when my sweet little man starts to cry and I need to stop clean and pick him up.  Turns out all he wanted was to cuddle with his mommy... which seems like a great excuse to sit down and stop cleaning :) But really my days are very different now.  Before, I'd get up eat breakfast, get on the computer, clean and get dinner ready.  At night, T would get home, we'd eat dinner hang out, (he'd play some football on the PS3) and we'd go to bed and sleep.  The weekends, we'd go out to eat, see a movie, or hang out with friends.  It was pretty care free.  Now my days are full of diaper changes, nursing, naps, tummy time, and counting the dirty diapers.  Nights daddy gets home, and plays with his son, more diapers, nursing, baths and dinner (normally gotten from the freezer and just thrown into the oven).  Then we head to bed for 3 or 4 hours of block sleep.. more diapers and nursing.  Now weekends are pretty much the same as my days are.  Going out takes much more time and planning, and alot more stuff.. lol.  Things are different now and you know what.. I wouldn't change any part of our new life.  Nothing is more special than having Zach curl up on my chest, seeing him flash a beautiful smile (most the time he is sleeping.. but still), or seeing daddy holding Zach and seeing how much he loves him.  Change is def a great thing!
So now the choice is to put Z down and finish cleaning or stay here and love on my baby!  Well I was reading some of my fav blogs and I found this poem on one of them.. (sorry for stealing it) and it made it easy to pick..

     Song for a fifth child - Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth, 

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth, 

Hang out the washing and butter the bread, 

Sew on a button and make up a bed. 

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

 She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue 

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due 

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew 

And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo 

But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo. 

Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue? 

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, 

For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. 

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep. 

I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

 

I put a blanket down to swaddle Zach in.. and Chase took that as his cue to come lay on it..lol

Favorite things... :)

Favorite things!!

Or should I say things I could not be with out now that I have a newborn!  I've seen people do these on blogs and thought it'd be fun.. so here they are:

The MAM pacifier
 Its the only paci that Z will take... and he loves his paci!  He doesn't need it all the time, but its nice to have when he wants it!  We make sure we always know where one is at.. just in case!





A baby swing.. and bouncy chair..  both these have been super helpful with getting sleep for both Z and us!!

The pack n play..  Since Z hates sleeping in his cradle... he sleeps in his PNP.. so I'm def enjoying have that!

The boby pillow.  Really any pillow will do, but it is nice to have this one!

The Moby Wrap!  It is great!  and I'm sure once I have it even more figured out it will be better!  For now, "we" do house work and still get to be close.

Last but not least.. My favorite thing.  Nuff said!  :)

First Bath and lunch out

 

Today was a really nice day!  We started with sleeping in a bit after the 8 am feeding.  Woke up around 11 and headed to town.  We were able to exchange the all the newborn diapers and got quite a bit of money back-which is always nice!  Then for the first time we went to lunch out at a restaurant!  It went really well!  Zach just chilled while mommy and daddy were able to enjoy a meal.  When we got home, Z took his first real bath.. which he loved!  After a massage, he was super relaxed and happy!  While we were relaxing daddy was putting up new can lights and a new fan in the living room.. which look great! 
After that, Grandma came over and hung out with us, so daddy could go to dinner w/ the boys.  With grandma we went out for dinner and then came home.  Grandma was able to spend some good time with Z and Chase. 

Now its time for a story, and then bedtime :)  Lets all hope for a good night!

 

 

First bath!

Warmed by towels!

Proud grandma w/ Z and Chase

Life with a Newborn!

    So I barely have time for a shower during the day let alone blogging.. lol, but I do want to make a better try at writing in this at least weekly! First let me update on how Zach is doing weight wise.  He is finally back up to his birth weight!  YAY.. 10lbs 11 oz!  That makes for a heavy carseat! 
   Things are going pretty well.  His cord fell off so once he wakes up we are going to give him his first bath!  Which is exciting!  He is eating alot, I'd say about every 2-3 hours during the day and 3 at night...  And most the time our nights are pretty easy.  Wake up and feed and then he falls asleep.  Sometimes he fights going to sleep and is awake pretty late (1-3 am...poor mommy..)  But overall I can't complain too much.  He is so beautiful.. I really can't get over it!
   Today T got home early from work, which was nice for me.  We went for a walk with the dog, and then T put up some can lights in our living room.  They look really good!  I was able to shower and jam out to some music while in there.. lol  Also it gave me a chance to clean up the house alittle bit.. but its still pretty messy.  I'm sure with time it will be clean again.. at least I hope. 
   As far as motherhood is going, it was nothing like I expected.  I knew it would be hard, but I didn't realise how hard it would actually be.  I'm very tired, and kinda feel like I'm always feeding Zach.  I kinda feel like I'm not playing with him enough, but I know I am.  There are times I really feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.. but we manage and I'm def learning as I go.  I didn't fall in love with Z as fast as I thought I would.. don't get me wrong, I love my son so much, it just took much longer than I expected.  I'm sure his birth experince had alot to do with it, but still.  Now somedays I can't stop looking at him!  I'm so grateful for a few websites (bump is a main one) and a few people that have been so helpful-with out these things and people I'd be so lost!  I'm very excited about going to a few "new mom" things.  One is a new mom group in my town and the other is being offered by the hospital where I gave birth.  Its a new mom's tea.  It will be really nice to meet people around here that are in the same boat as we are in and understand.
   Well that is all I have today...  Have a great weekend!!

See told you he was beautiful!!  :)

Motherhood..birth story.. finally!

So I have been awful at updating!  I've been busy running around with a newborn and getting use to our new life together!  Plus is really has taken me a while to be able to write our birth story.  Where as I know that I got the greatest thing I could have (our son) it still took some time for me to be ok with with how everything went.. But here it is:

  Sunday night, T and I were running around the house... T more than me, since I was still on bedrest, but I did do alittle cleaning.  T was going crazy building shelves for storage.. lol, and cleaning what I couldn't.  So after we got alot done, we thought we'd try to get some sleep.  I slept for about 2 hours and T didn't get any sleep.  At 11:30 pm we headed out, said our goodbyes to the pup and got ready for our lives to be changed forever!  We got to the hospital right on time and they got us into a room.  I got my first interal and found out I was SUPER high and just a fingertip dilated.. so that was alittle dissappointing.  In the room the TV was small, but the bed wasn't too bad and the bed they had for T was better than the one when we were in there last.  They started me on Pit around 1 ish in the morning.  Then they noticed that the computer screen wasn't working in the room.. so they had to move us.. back into the room where I spent the night when I went in for high blood pressure.. It was smaller, but the TV was bigger and T had to sleep in the dumb chair thing, again. 
  Since I had high blood pressure, I had that cuff on and it was checking my bp every 15 mins.. and it was getting super tight (my hand would turn purplish black every time.. ugh)  So I didn't get any sleep.  The nurses got pretty busy that night, so they got alittle behind on uping my Pit.  But I wasn't in pain yet, so it wasn't too bad.  Later that morning, they changed nurses and the new one was really great (really all the nurses were wonderful, but you can't help but have your favs)  She was on top of uping the Pit and got my doc premission to up it quicker (since they got behind).  She really wanted me to be in pain, so we called her Crazy Eye.. :)  At one point, they worried that the baby was brech, so they did a quick ultra sound to make sure he was head down (his heartbeat was pretty high up on my belly..)  Good news he was head down..  And finally around 2-3pm I started feeling the contractions.  T helped me breath thru them, but they were getting closer together and stronger (one was 3 mins long).. They started getting worried about them being so close together and it was getting late, so they checked me again.  Sadly, I was still the same.  Very high and only a fingertip.  I was very dissappointed at this point.  Dr. stopped the Pit for the night and let me eat dinner (before this I had been on a liquid diet).  Then overnight they started me on Cervdil to help me progress.  The next morning(the 15th) they rechecked me and I was softer and maybe a 2, but still VERY high.
   So we went back on the pit.  I was on that until about 3, when I got rechecked and still only 2 and high, so Dr said the baby wasn't moving down and we should do a c-section.  So at 4:30pm on the 15th, I went in for a c-section.  They gave me some antibotics in my IV, which made me get sick.. got T his scrubs.. and I went into the OR.  There I got my spinal (which wasn't as bad as I had feared) As I started feeling numb, I got sick again and my blood pressure dropped really low, so they gave me some meds for both.  T got in there and the Drs came in and before I knew it I heard the most beauitful sound ever... My sons first cry.  They pulled him out and showed T and me and then took him over to the little bed thing.  T went over there and was able to carry him to me so we could get a quick pic and then he took him to the bed where they both went into the NICU.  Little did we know that would be the last time T would be able to hold him for a few days. 
   Z (baby) was having some issues breathing, he was grunting, b/c he had fluid in his lungs.  So he had to stay in the NICU for a while and I wasn't able to feed him/hold him or anything like that right away.  They did wheel my bed into the NICU, so I could touch him and see him for really the first time.  It was so great seeing him, but broke my heart that I could hold him and comfort him while he was breathing hard.  We really thought that night he'd be better and be able to be with us.  We were wrong.  It took about 2 days before I was allowed to hold him or feed him.  Finally, his breathing had calmed down, and we were able to start feeding (before that he was only getting fluids from an IV in his little head)  He also had lot so wires and things hooked up to him.  Thursday we tried having him in our room for the night, but around 1 he started grunting again and had to go back into the NICU (It was the worst feeling in the world watching them take him back even tho I knew it was for the best, it still broke my heart)  After a LONG week at the hospital we were finally able to leave Sat... 
   Z is doing well, at first he did have jaundice, and we were close to needing to go back to the hospital, but didn't have to in the end.  He lost a whole lb, due to being on only fluids at first and being jaundice and now we wer working on him getting back to his birth weight of 10lbs 11 oz.  We will get there!!

Sorry this was so long!